foiled again (pt.2)

just so everyone knows, and because i forgot to mention it after i found out, those nilla cakesters taste like shit. like, actually. as far as i can imagine anyway. i tried one because i was curious and had such high hopes. they are horrible. horrible little horribles that taste of all things horrible. there is no nilla, there is no cake-y-ness. there is only horrible. where there should be nilla there is bland, and where there should be cakester there is only what i imagine a stale sun-dried twinkie would feel like. so scratch that off the list. now i just have all those other temptation foods to worry about.

i started the twitter thing this week. only because it’s on my iphone now though. i’ll follow you if you follow me

good ole politics

i read cnn.com several times a day. partially cause i like staying informed on things, and partially because i’m secretly a 57 year old man. check out this article though. basically what it’s saying is that because it happens to be the summer before a major election, congress is doing nothing. energy prices are the highest they’ve been in at least twenty years, people are losing their homes and turning suburbia into ghost towns, but congress is going to play it safe and only vote on stuff that looks good in a re-election ad. and while getting rid of lead in toys and ending malaria in the third world is good and important, those aren’t exactly the issues facing most Americans. but the mortgage and energy crises? that can totally wait until 2009. the sad thing is that I know this isn’t anything new. it’s been happening every four years for at least the past century.

i think I’m right between “idealistic young voter” and “disenfranchised american.” I’m looking forward to being the “old white guy who votes for other old white guy.”

useless

hooray for an end to somewhat depressing posts. for now anyway. that never seems to last too terribly long with me. i digress. i won’t be so presumptuous as to say something like “sorry i haven’t written in a while.” mostly because i’m not sorry at all. for about a month and a half there i was actually busy. me and amanda moved out of our crappy apartment and into gerard’s house. those of you in riverside know exactly what i’m talking about. so yeah, exciting stuff.

but on to what i’ve decided to write about today. ladies and gentlemen, i’d like to present you with what i believe to be the most useless invention in the long horrible history of useless inventions. i give you….the AUTOMATIC PAPER TOWEL DISPENSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

these things have been an overnight sensation it feels like. they’re absolutely everywhere and i just don’t get these stupid things. how lazy are we? “no! i cannot and will not be bothered to pull a lever–who knows how many times?– in order to receive the appropriate amount of paper towels to dry my hands! if only someone made something that would electronically give me paper towels one at a time.” it’s not like this is more sanitary or something. people don’t ordinarily get paper towels if they haven’t just washed their hands. and it seems like this is the worst possible environmental solution ever. it’s cutting down trees AND using electricity. not to mention that it does horrible at actually drying your hands. it’s always a guessing game to figure out how those sensors work and by the time that second towel is done rolling out your hands are almost dry just from being out in the open. and you know that it’s going to get worse down the road. i can just see it. you happen to have to use a public restroom for a twosie, reach to the right to grab some toilet paper and discover you have to wave your hand under a machine and wait just so you can wipe. not cool, sanitation companies. not cool

back home again

at the risk of writing a post that’s literally as long as the ten days i was gone for, i’ll attempt to sum it up in as few points as i can.

- the southwest has some great people who have some sort of selective blindness that makes them not see the hundreds and hundreds of miles of desert that surround them. i’m working on a cure for this.

- i spent two days in juarez, mexico. i watched movies in english with spanish subtitles at a theater whilst being served sushi in a leather reclining chair. they need to bring this back to the u.s.

- while in juarez, i attended a mexican circus.

actually, i think it was a “latin american” circus. i saw five tigers in a cage obey one guy with a whip. much to my dismay, the tigers didn’t suddenly become aware of the situation and say to themselves, “wait a sec. i’m a f*cking tiger.”

- moises is the only person i know who it’s possible to get this picture of.

that photo was not staged in any way whatsoever. he’s actually passed out in the car while drinking a rockstar energy drink.

my birthday has come and gone, and i’m officially 25. i’m doing fine now. it just always happens the month or so before my birthday is all. thanks for bearing with me, everyone

25 (pt. 2)

my birthday is wednesday. every year for the two weeks or so leading up to my birthday, i get a little depressed. one of the reasons for this i think is that, with a couple exceptions, my birthdays are pretty consistently disappointing. i always feel so selfish, then consequently guilty about it. like if i want to plan something big that’s all about me i can’t help but feel selfish about it. but conversely, if i go the opposite way and don’t want to do anything at all, i feel like if i had friends that would want to celebrate my birthday with me that i was being selfish for not giving an opportunity for that happen. the other reason i get depressed near my birthday is because it’s a reminder that i am, in fact, aging. and i don’t believe that i’ve come to terms with my mortality. although i’ve known that for a little while now, i’ve never known exactly why.

i was at barnes and noble tonight and started reading a book about writers needing courage to write. it said that one of the fears writers have is that of writing about their own experiences. i don’t really have that fear when it comes to writing. i do, however, fear that i think of myself as a writer (sorta) and that once people read my stuff will disagree with me. anyway. as i was reading about that i started thinking about what i know from my own life. it’s not much, but i’ve really had to focus a lot of my inward development on the fact that i grew up without a dad. i started wondering if not having a dad could have affected my views on death and aging. at first it felt like i was just grasping at straws, but a couple of dots got connected for me. for example, there hasn’t been an older guy in my life that i’ve really seen age. the occasional male role models i’ve had never really stuck around long enough. so i haven’t seen a man cross that point from knowing their strength into watching their strength fail as time takes its toll. my grandpa was already an older man by the time i was born, so i haven’t been witness to a man growing in wisdom as they approach the age my father would be. i haven’t seen a full head of hair go completely gray, i haven’t watched a man go from father to grandfather, and i haven’t seen a man leave this world when it was his time.

i know that death and aging are as natural as living. i had to learn to start living as a man without the direct influence of a father. now i think it’s time to learn how to get older as a man.

side note: this wednesday, 6:30 at joe’s sushi. birthday dinner, all are welcome