overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

let’s see, carry the 7….yes! i did have a childhood!

with one comment

i went over to my mom’s house not too long ago for dinner. my mom is kind of a gifts person and typically whenever me and amanda go over there for any reason we end up taking home something we didn’t show up with. just kind of random odds and ends that my mom gives as a way of showing she thinks about us. this last time we went though, she had two whole bags of little goodies for me. and it wasn’t new random goodies either. oddly enough, it was my own stuff. for example, i remember when i was a kid it was one of the first times that i had gotten sick and was old enough to know what was happening. my mom fixed me tea for my throat but up til then all the mugs in the house were ones that she had bought for her. since it was near valentine’s day, she got me my first mug. i was way into dinosaurs then, so the mug had pictures of dinosaurs (not cartoony ones) giving each other valentine’s cards. and all my tea as a child was in that mug.

there was other stuff in the bags too, such as a pillow that had been made for me as a baby with my initials and carebears embroidered by my grandma. there was also a christmas stocking with a rabbit in it that i think hallmark made to tie into their “velveteen rabbit” marketing push that season. which worked great for me cause i loved that story at that age. but the coolest piece of nostalgia that was in those bags was a stuffed bear. it wasn’t my first teddy bear, but it was the first one i got to pick out. here’s a picture of me reunited with said bear:

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i had never really liked my first teddy bear. it was the standard brown and had a little bib on it (cause i was a baby) that said “my first bear.” even as a child, i knew what that bib said and every time i saw it i felt it taunting me. “you had no choice about me!” it would say. even though i knew the thought behind the gift, i just really felt like it was never “my bear” and would never be. it was a bear that happened to have been given to me first. so one day, when me and my mom were in some store i barely remember, i saw that particular white bear on a rack with other bears and asked my mom if she would get it for me. miraculously, she did. but why that bear? well first, it was very small which means i could grab onto it with one hand instead of the usual sized “both arms” large teddy bear. second, it was white. white was an uncommon color for a teddy bear which i was a big fan of. (see, i was a nonconformist before i knew what the word meant.) also, it was the late 80’s and white was the color of totally radical. here’s a weird little thing about the bear though:

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see how the tag is still on there but really really frayed? that’s because i remember spilling grape jelly on it from a sandwich and not liking that it made the bear look dumb to me. like i had dragged it through the garbage or something. so from that point on whenever i carried it around, i carried it by the tag.

the craziest part of all of this, is that i had completely forgotten about every detail i just mentioned until seeing this bear again for the first time in probably 17 years. so thanks to hanging on to random crap mom. i know now more than ever where i get my tendency to be pack rat. wanna help me move in a few months?

song for the moment: “(antichrist television blues)” by arcade fire


Written by matt

March 8, 2007 at 1:43 am

Posted in random much?

One Response

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  1. Funny how memories decades past can be triggered by the smallest thing. And now I remember the childhood fascinations with dinosaurs too. Like that fieldtrip we took when we were perhaps 8, and Ben held dinosaur petrified poop. Or the all-nighters with your JP2 SNES game. No wonder our eyesights suck so bad. But yeah, talk about ancient memories.


    March 8, 2007 at 9:26 am

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