overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

that was unexpected.

with one comment

i have started a workbook to help me be more creative. i started it almost exactly 24 hours ago. it’s going to be hard. it’ll be way good for me and i think it will help me just be a better human being all around though, too. anyway, as i was going through the first week’s chapter, there was this exercise to kind of make you realize that there’s always that inner censor that tries to make you “be sensible.” what you do is write down the sentence, “I, (your name), am a brilliant and prolific (painter, writer, chef, etc.).” and while you read that sentence you see what kind of negative thoughts pop into your head about that. i was working all that in my mind last night and said to myself, “I, Matt Quillen, am a brilliant and prolific writer/musician.” that’s when my train of thought quite literally stopped dead in its tracks. i had realized that for some reason i said writer before musician. then i had to really think about that for a minute. when i was younger i had wanted to be a writer. i wanted to write books and stories and all kinds of stuff. i don’t know what happened exactly to that childhood dream, but i stopped dreaming it. looking back, i also realized that around that time was fading away is when i started wanting to be a musician. as i’m working through all this in my mind, i started to connect some pieces together. my biggest fear as an “artist” is that i have nothing to say. that even though i know how to spell and have good grammar and even kinda know how a phrase works within a sentence works within a paragraph works within a body of writing, that there won’t be anything to tell the world. i started to wonder, “is this why i’m kind of a quiet guy?” “is this why i chose to play bass, the designated un-rockstar and least attention grabbing of popular instruments?” “is this why i have such a love/hate relationship with blogging?” “is this why i fear the concept of songwriting?” “what have i not done because of my fear that i have nothing to say?”

i’m looking forward to the next 12 weeks of this book.

song for the moment: “god put a smile upon your face” by coldplay

Advertisements

Written by matt

May 8, 2007 at 3:46 pm

One Response

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Yesssss!!!!

    DaleyHake

    May 8, 2007 at 4:48 pm


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: