overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

dec 14, 2010

with one comment

i missed yesterday’s blog post. so what i’m gonna do is post this, make it look like i published it yesterday, then write again tonight. this is actually a post i wrote a long time ago, but i really liked it then and i still like it now. just so everyone knows ahead of time, i’m being sarcastic. so, here’s your chance. you don’t have to read this. in fact, i might encourage you not to. but if this is your cup of tea, you might get a little chuckle out of it. enjoy(?).

Friday, March 03, 2006

success in christian music: a how-to
welcome to the guide for success within the contemporary christian music industry. with this easy step by step guide, you’ll ensure a successful career for years to come.

step 1: the sound – the easiest part for playing music in the ccm industry is actually the music itself. how easy? as easy as turning on the mainstream radio! see what sounds are tearing up the charts in the secular world and start playing the same style. remember, nobody in the church wants to hear anything creative or original, especially if it’s about God. besides, why scare people away with anything other than the comfort of the familiar?

step 2: the lyrics – this is almost as easy as the music you’ll be singing to. for the easiest route on the path to success here, copy a secular pop song and change the “baby” in the chorus to “Jesus.” for example, the line “you’re the only one for me, baby,” easily becomes, “you’re the only one for me, Jesus.” for the best results and the most record sales, take a very familiar song that other successful artists have covered as well, and change all the words so that it’s about Jesus. if original lyrics are more your style, remember to keep it light. remember, Jesus never got sad or angry and neither should we. and we definitely should not be putting those kind of emotions into songs.

step 3: marketing – it’s all about presentation. this is no different than the secular industry here. you wouldn’t expect an introspective singer/songwriter to wear tight fitting leather pants sporting a hundred piercings and a mohawk, would you? it’s about appearances. don’t smoke, drink, dance, curse, or be seen with anyone who does. christians should follow Jesus’ example and not be associated with those kinds of people. even if you have a less-than-decent relationship with God, at least try to look like you do. it’s all the same to most people!

step 4: continuing success – this section is about how to stay at the top once you’ve gotten there. most successful artists in the secular world have had continuing success by reinventing themselves over the years to change with the times. not so in the ccm industry! at the absolute most, change your hairstyle every ten years or so. the fans you get when you start your career will keep buying your records for years regardless of the quality of the music.

hopefully, this has helped your understanding of the contemporary christian music industry and steered you in the right direction for a successful career. good luck and keep praising the money. or Jesus. whichever.


Written by matt

December 14, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Posted in decemberblogging

One Response

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dan Bailey, matt quillen. matt quillen said: i missed yesterday. also, don't read this. #decemberblogging http://wp.me/p2wuK-4W […]

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