overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

I don’t call, I don’t write…

with 2 comments

It probably seems like I haven’t written anything in a while, but I have. A newer friend of mine has inspired me to create an entirely separate blog focused on the ins and outs of musicianship, specifically playing bass, in a church setting. I’ve been posting over there recently, and it’s been quite fun to put down my thoughts about that otherwise boring subject in a place where it’s (maybe) not so boring. It’s also been a nice exercise in “technical” writing.

That’s not what I came here to write about tonight though. I’ve begun to notice something in my life that needs definite work. At this point, I’ve realized that I’m not awesome at relationships for a couple reasons. The first reason is one that I’ve actually written about here before, which is that I tend to not be overt with my verbal communication. This is something I’m excited to have figured out now and not when my kid is a teenager wondering why I never told him I love him. The other reason is that laziness is one of those deep down root problems in my life.

What I’m figuring out is that I’m not a very good friend to people because I never take the first step. I never really take the initiative to talk or hang out with people I care about. Sadly, the reason for that is most often that I’m just too lazy to pick up the phone. It’s quite easy to blame some of that on the fact that my schedule is not anywhere close to what most people’s are, but that should only necessitate me making more of an effort. It’s not anyone else’s fault that this is the life I chose. Also, it’s not like there aren’t a million ways of non-intrusively getting in touch with someone. I can only imagine what kind ruined friendships I’d be responsible for if I had to sit down and physically write a letter to keep in touch with someone. (If this blog is any indication, I’d need to buy stock in white-out.) I really want to blame culture for my poor relationship skills, too. I mean, how could I possibly be expected to keep up with the 300 friends I have on facebook? That’s BS too though. All that does is make it way easier to keep up with 300 people.

I rely way too much on waiting to run into people or on them making that first move to call or text or something. I’m actually starting to wonder how many people I’ve inadvertently pushed away because of that. I haven’t spoken to my half-siblings in probably two years for no other reason than I apparently can’t be bothered to make a stupid phone call. I don’t even communicate with the guys in my small group outside of when we meet. That’s just bad. The scary part is that now that I’m starting to really put all this together, I’m responsible for it.

So how does a lazy person be a purposefully better friend to the people he truly cares about?


Written by matt

January 31, 2011 at 9:10 pm

2 Responses

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  1. I’m the same way. When you figure it out let me know.

    Lori Zimbardi

    February 1, 2011 at 8:56 am

  2. So, Grandma feels neglected by my Grandson. I had a whole month waiting for you….I know you both are busy, but !!!!!

    I love you guys, Matt…..


    February 1, 2011 at 9:00 am

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