overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

May 6, 2011 #everydaymay

with 3 comments

If you’ve read this blog for a little bit, it probably isn’t surprising when I say that I have some highly refined abandonment issues. These tend to manifest in different ways, but there was a newish way that happened earlier this week.

I accepted a gig out in Irvine this week and a rehearsal was on Tuesday night. I also had previously made important plans with my wife for that same night. Because of the circumstances, canceling either one wasn’t really an option. I was really torn up about this, so much so that I couldn’t even think straight enough to be able to make a rational decision about it. My conclusion was that I was just going to have to do both, regardless of the limitations of physics.

When people think about the issues in their life, it tends to be with themselves as the victim. The fact of it is that because we’re humans, we often overlook when we might be doing that same thing to other people. Unbeknownst to me, I was so distraught about having to choose one or the other because if I made a choice it meant that I was abandoning someone. Then I would be the thing that hurts me so much and be passing on that pain to someone else. I was so upset about it because a part of me hated myself for that.

Once again, my amazing wife showed me the way. I’m sure her feelings were still hurt, but she again personified patience and grace to me and I went to the rehearsal. (As an aside, if you’re still looking for your wife, put those two things at the top of what you’re looking for.) By exemplifying those things to me, I was able to realize that I don’t do a good job of extending patience or grace in my heart to other people when I do feel like I’m the victim.

That’s part of breaking those cycles, right?

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Written by matt

May 6, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Posted in everydaymay

3 Responses

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  1. Always touches me when husbands speak of how wonderful their wives are. So precious!

    Rissa

    May 6, 2011 at 7:12 pm

  2. “When people think about the issues in their life, it tends to be with themselves as the victim.”

    couldn’t. agree. more.

    David

    May 6, 2011 at 7:24 pm

  3. Your wife sounds awesome. And it’s awesomely awesomer that I can tell that by how you talk about her.

    allofalanah

    May 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm


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