overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

May 12, 2011 #everydaymay

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I find that I struggle a lot with being a negative person. I occasionally play the optimist, but it never lasts very long. I’ve been working on this aspect of my being for some time now and I’ve seen improvement. It’s helped my relationships with other people, especially when they don’t feel like they’re constantly trying to bring me out of some dark place. I think part of it has to do with how strongly I feel about certain things and that the amount of caring about something doesn’t always translate to being a team player to work things out. It instead tends to be an inner monologue of, “Well, let’s get this over with.”

All that said, it’s been a shock to my system to not really have any tinge of that when I think about my son. It’s certainly not for a lack of caring about him, and it’s not part of my false defense mechanism of the Pessimist’s Code: “If I lower my expectations, I won’t ever be disappointed.” I just can’t help but be joyful when I think about him, and that’s one of the few times I’ve described anything in my life as “joyful.”

I think I’m growing up a little.

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Written by matt

May 12, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Posted in everydaymay

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