overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

May 14, 2011 #everydaymay

with 3 comments

I’m gonna go with daddy issues on this one, so if that’s not your issue, this may or may not be interesting.

There’s tons of quotes out there that talk about failure leading to opportunity or being the first step to success. They’re all very easy to look up, so I won’t waste your time here. With all those helpful and encouraging things about failure not being such a big deal it should be easier to deal with. It should especially be easier to deal with if you call yourself a Christian.

Something I’ve learned is that failure, like every other circumstance, has to be interpreted. I’ve not ever been one to instinctually interpret failure as something that leads to a positive outcome. Come to think of it though, I don’t know of many people that have. I think it’s something that has to be learned, which means that there has to be someone to teach you that. This is where I think having a good father comes in, at least for a boy. (Maybe for girls, too, but I wouldn’t really know anything about that.) It’s in a mother’s nature to be nurturing and healing to a boy when he tries and fails at something, particularly if he gets physically hurt. It’s the father’s job to offer strength so that the failure can be learned from. I think it’s that freedom to fail that breeds security in boys.

I believe that’s where the disconnect lies. If there’s insecurity, failure can’t be interpreted as anything other than failure. This may be one of the other reasons I’m a little weirded out about becoming a dad still. I’m a little concerned with “Did I push him too hard?” versus “Did I not push him hard enough?” Mostly though, what I’m still struggling the most with is how do I give myself grace and also let God give me grace when I inevitably make a mistake raising my son? How do I not consider myself a failure whenever I fail as a parent?

My solace in that right now is that six years ago I had no idea how to be a husband. I’ve failed as one many times. Through it all, my wife has shown me how to give grace. My son probably will too, but in a completely different way. I’m just getting really excited to get to know him the more I think about it, and the deeper I think about it the more excited I get.

Written by matt

May 14, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Posted in everydaymay

3 Responses

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  1. Matt,
    I enjoy our posts so much. All of us in our roles in life be it a mother, father, parent, sibling, we all make mistakes, I call them mistakes as failure is awfully strong word, out of our mistakes is the opportunity to learn and grow. None of us on earth are perfect and do the very best we can and yes we make mistakes but God gives us grace and teachs us from them, its our job to learn and go forward with it. You will be a great dad and you’ll make mistakes, and thats ok. The greatest thing you can give a child is love and you have plenty of that.
    Can’t wait to meet your son.

    Love you, Aunt Jeanne

    Aunt Jeanne

    May 15, 2011 at 7:23 am

  2. Matt, yes, we all makes mistakes and that is how we learn and how our children grow.
    You will be a great Dad and Amanda will be a great Mom.

    Love to you both,Grandma


    May 15, 2011 at 7:58 am

  3. “I think it’s that freedom to fail that breeds security in boys.” Incredible. And so very true. That one’s being written into my Moleskine as “quote of the day.”

    Nathan Ryan

    May 15, 2011 at 8:38 am

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