overcoming average(?)

because it’s something the world just needs less of

nov 2, 2011 #novemberblogfest

with 2 comments

I’m going to misspell “November” as “Novemeber” several times over the course of this month. Might as well get used to it.

I really, really hate having difficult conversations, as I’m sure most people do. Some people hate having them because they hate making other people uncomfortable, while others might avoid them for fear of being uncomfortable themselves. I hate having them because I worry that my point of view will be made to feel invalid, which I think is a form of fear of rejection, which is just a different kind of abandonment to me.

I really just kind of hate that growth requires us facing our biggest insecurities. That in and of itself a weakness of mine, that I’d rather not deal with something despite my knowledge that it needs to happen. I’ve heard it said that even though it seems easier to not deal with something, it’s actually much harder in the long run to live with whatever it is. Sometimes I really don’t know if that’s true. Again, probably just my not wanting to deal with it.

Just so everyone knows, I’m in a bit of a weird place right now and that will likely come across in this month’s writing. See, when you get married, you have to grow up and get unselfish really fast. I think that same thing happens again to the “Nth” degree when you have a kid. As joyful as this time is in my life, it’s also a big step of personal growth, which as I just mentioned necessarily means confronting my weaknesses and insecurities.

I’m hoping that as this month continues and I’m able to process as I go that I might get some small epiphanies as to how I can keep going. I won’t be able to do that every post, but the most anyone can ever hope for is progress.

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Written by matt

November 2, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Posted in novemberblogfest

2 Responses

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  1. Thanks for the honesty, friend.

    And welcome to the personal-growth-via-children-club. It’s a rough, but very rewarding transition.

    Matt Richey

    November 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm

  2. i type Novemeber at least three times daily.

    you are not alone.

    allofalanah

    November 2, 2011 at 6:22 pm


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